My insane journey to making it in Hollywood, and all those thoughts that come into play




The 100 days of creativity did get swept to the side a little, nanowrimo did consume my life, a little too much. I guess back on the horse for Day three tomorrow..Or do I start over again, or is it day 29 dude to writing constantly… I DON’T KNOW! I am now going to celebrate since this was so stressful while being behind for days then catching up, then winning.





Female Troubles

Frankly, My Dear Starlet...


An incredibly condescending meme comparing Michelle Obama and Jackie O has been going around, lamenting the days of the demure, beautiful first lady and presenting Michelle as somehow being crass. Worse, I saw it passed around by women. You have got to be kidding me.

It nearly made me burst into tears that women can be so pointlessly cruel to one another. I was offended to the core of my being by the overt racism, the blatant disrespect and unfair set up (Classic Jackie posed in pearls next to Michelle in a tank top cheering at a sporting event…I mean, come on!), but I also immediately laughed out loud at the misguided absurdity of this meme that also entirely miscalculates what it means to be a woman.

A woman is not something quiet and pretty that sits in the corner smiling…nope, you’re thinking of a doll. A woman is a…

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Day 2 of #100 days of creativity

Character sketch for this audition!!! Succubus power activated.

Character sketch for this audition!!! Succubus power activated.

Day 1 of # 100 days of creativity


Look a thingy in progress. Goal to get 6,000 words today.

Project thingies

I have decided to do two major challenges back to back and starting at the same time so my brain knows what the fuck is going on. One is NaNoWriMo which is writing a of novel in a month, so 50,000 words. I have a tiny premise, but not a solid “hey look at this outline I made it took me a month or so to make”. If you feel like doing that the site is

The second is more vague in structure called the #100 days of creativity. This is basically doing something creative for 100 days, posting it online, and tagging it for the world to see. for more info.  You can start on whatever day just label it as Day One and do that thing for 100 days.

Both of these I will start these shooting for Monday, but It may be Tuesday. But the things will happen.

Another challenge you can do if you feel like doing Yoga is 30 Days of Yoga with Adrienne. This is amazing for actors to learn how to control their bodies and also be present in your body while becoming a noodle. You don’t have to be an expert at Yoga to do this. My heels don’t touch the floor in half of these moves, but it’s ok they will one day. I have already completed this challenge which makes me sad, but more a coordinated noodle.




Dork fact of self: As tiny human I pretended that I was Sailor Xena of Saturn. Blending two awesome things that I love into a thing. Which I should revive very soon.

When learning the craft of Acting, or well any craft, it is insane easy to overthink, stress out, have some sort of melt down about not progressing as fast as you would like, being a perfectionist, etc etc etc. What is easy to forget, and so simple that it’s over thought, but it’s really simple…. Just play. Yes, that thing you did when you were a tiny to medium human on the playground trying to save your mermaid friends from Two-Face while you stormed into danger with a chakram and sword (or whatever scene you played). No rules, No grades, No striving to be perfect.. Being in the moment while trying to save your friends from an invisible entity that you all acted out in your brain while interacting with each other. You know… Fun… Play… things that are very easily overlooked in the audition/ rehearsal/ class room. And for some reason when you loose your tiny to medium human brain, life becomes more complex and thus a battle between play and adulting comes battling in a suckish battle with some form of loser, or it’s still going and ends with one or the other on top (hopefully with imagination and play winning).

When you are stuck, play. Get friends together and grab toys, or RPG like your eight. If you are worried about playing with Barbies and action figures, think of Johnny Depp. He plays with Barbies. According to Johnny Depp, Barbies work well with trying to figure out character voices.

I figured this out while messing with humans and poking fun at them as an unseelie fae. Yes it took me years to figure out that I wasn’t playing, that I was striving for perfection (still working not doing that), and not listening, not making choices, focused on doing techniques correctly, not playing. Yes, learn techniques figure which ones work and don’t then say fuck you, and fucking play. You have what you learned already in your head. JUST PLAY!!!

Do what works for you, but go and fucking play. Be a dork, mess up, learn, and do it again. Be Salior Xena. Have fun. Be a kid, we all know you actually are. 🙂

Dear Fear,

Frankly, My Dear Starlet...



INT. BRAIN – DUSK.   Cue: Long, deep sigh followed by shiver of terror.


It’s the middle of the night.  You are alone in the middle of a swirling black river.  The current is strong.  The waves are lapping. Your mind is racing.  You’re fighting to keep your head above water.  You can’t touch the bottom or see what is below.  You are blindly trying to make it across to the other side.  Trying to move far enough ahead that your toes finally touch solid ground and you can start trusting that you are again on the upward incline, even if just an inch at a time.  That is the year it has been.  A year of surprising challenges, unanticipated changes, devastating heartbreak on a number of levels, confusion, unexpected losses… a multitude of strifes.   A year of transitions.  We’ve all…

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